Datchi akounto

Does anyone else watch the Apprentice?

I absolutely love it! I wish it was on all year round! And I'm already getting upset that the current series is already halfway through!

It's sooooooooo funny!

I know the people are under pressure and are probably trying too hard to come up with novel ideas! Thing is, they do have novel ideas, just not good ones!

Creating greeting cards this week, they've come up with special occasions for their cards: singles day and being environmentally friendly. It's hilarious!!!

I love this show!

It's Queensday today in Holland! To avoid any confusion, this is to with our monarch, Queen Beatrix (and before her Queen Juliana when the day originated).

It's the Dutch National day, not a holiday unfortunately but not a whole lot of work goes on on this day.

The country turns orange! It's a great big party and lot of fun!

If you walk out of Amsterdam Centraal (the biggest party is in Amsterdam today), all you can see in front of you is a mass of people all dressed in orange! There are stages around the city with DJs and bands playing!
There are markets almost everywhere, and the atmosphere is great!

I hope they're all having a good day today! With nice weather! I will have to make the trip back for it again some time...

Two items in the news today that I wanted to point out...

1 - A blogger got convicted and fined for posting a 'menacing' message about a policeman's newborn baby. The man had been arrested on theft charges, and later ranted in his blog about his experience. He's been convicted under the telecoms act regarding sending an electronic message.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/north_east/7373639.stm

2 - The horrific story of the father who kept his daughter locked in a cellar for 24 years, abused her and fathered her 7 children. This story only broke this week and the progress the Austrian police have achieved is very impressive. Imagine such a case in the UK, would it be handled as quick? Somehow I really don't believe the system here is quite that efficient. Perhaps someone should go to Austria to pick up some tips.

since I was last on this site. Didn't feel like sharing for a little while, bit too much turmoil in my life and I'm finding it hard to sort my head out.

IRP is out the door. My friends decided I should try internet dating seriously so they signed me up to this site. Perhaps a bit soon because I'm really rather unhappy about the IRP thing. But there you go...

So I'm chatting to a few guys, and one or two really seem quite nice. I don't think I'm the sort of person for internet dating, but I'm giving it a go. So I'm going out with one guy on friday, and another on monday.

I was quite looking forward to it as well...

Then tonight, I spoke to IRP again... Not about anything in particular, just a catch up chat. At the end he said he'd give me a ring at the weekend, maybe catch up for a drink...

Oh crap!
Now I'm all over the place again.

I think I know what's right, thinking about how things were with IRP. The thing is, there is no such thing as the perfect relationship and where do you draw the line? How much do you accept and what things should definitely be no problem at all?

I wouldn't just get back with IRP. I'd have to discuss all the things that I've since realised were perhaps a problem.

I know I should just get on with things, and I'm trying, but I'm just so sad and confused. Luckily, work's finally got really busy so that's keeping me occupied.

I hate feeling like this, feeling hurt. I never seem to get it right, and whatever I decide always seems to be the wrong thing. And for a tiny little while there, I actually thought I had it all and it was right this time...

I know I've said it before, but I'll happily say it again! I've got the best friends ever! They really are very good!
One of my friends has been cooking me meals to make sure I keep eating while the chips are down, and she's been very good to make sure I'm ok!
My other friends have been good as well, saying all the right things and coming out with me etc.
In a way it's made me realise what I really need to do next, and that may not exactly be what I feel like but hey...
So we'll see how things pan out, I think I know... but until then I'll just count my lucky stars for having such very good good friends!

Towards the end of last year, I wrote about how I thought something(s) were going to change.
As it turned out, I was right, but not in the way I'd imagined.

So far I haven't changed jobs, which I thought I might. I also still live in the little home, on my own. And I have all the same friends who I love very much!

I think the change was actually more inside of me. I've learnt so much about so many things this year so far. I'm not sure how it happened, but I think it will be very useful. I've learnt a lot about myself, how I handle certain situations and some of the reasons why. I feel calmer within myself and a little bit more confident.

Things with IRP aren't great at the moment. He messed up and I found out. He didn't really do anything really bad but there was plenty of potential for it to turn into something bad... I only found out because I didn't trust him and checked up on him so I guess there isn't much of a future there.

I think it's important to be able to trust your partner, feel respected, secure and confident. Otherwise jealousy might take over and I think that's when people turn into a clingy nervous wreck. Not for me!

My question is, how much crap do you put up with to make a relationship work? And at what cost to yourself?

I wouldn't mind having a crystal ball to look into the future, but perhaps I don't really need one. If I know myself, I know how I might react to situations and I know what will make me happy/unhappy...

My friend Alan ran the London Marathon yesterday (his first marathon) and he finished it in 3.44.45! I'm so very proud of him!!!
Well done!!!!!

Yep, still here, just not very often at the moment. I still haven't quite recovered from being ill, which is getting VERY annoying!
So I haven't been around. I will be spending a bit of time catching up with all of your blogs. Got absolutely nothing to say, so I hope you're having a good weekend!

Woke up this morning to lots and lots of snow outside!! It's still really going for it! I know it was forecast, but it normally doesn't make it as far south as southsea so I was still quite surprised!

It does potentially ruin my plans for the day... We were going for a walk, see how I get on with my foot and I was really looking forward to it. Still, I'm sure I'll find something else to do. And as I'm up early anyway, I'm going to the seafront now to see what that looks like in the snow!

I feel much better today! No longer ill really! The drugs really work! Very good! I did pop out for a bit last night, but I only drank water which was very good of me I thought! It wasn't the best night out though. Everyone else had been out since before the footbal, so they were quite drunken. Still, it was better than sitting in. Hopefully next weekend will be better!

I'm ill... how rubbish!! This was supposed to be a brilliant day as well! Portsmouth won the FA semi at wembley today, so there's a good mood around town!
It's my friend's birthday, so everyone is out! I joined them for a little while, but only whilst waiting for my emergency doctors appointment.
At least I got the drugs I wanted!!
I've been awake since 3 am feeling rubbish but needing to keep myself occupied... much to IRP's annoyance... luckily he had to get up for work at half 4 anyway.
I want to go out tonight! I guess I really shouldn't drink, and I don't think I will, not even one small one. that way I'll get better quicker and if the drugs kick in a bit quick, I might be able to get on with things again tomorrow!
Hope your weekend is better than mine!

Your shoelaces are undone...