Datchi akounto

Happy New Year!!

All the best wishes to you and your loved ones!

May 2008 be a very good year for you, when your dreams and wishes become true, when you achieve your goals and good things happen for you!

It's finally here; the last day of 2007! I can't quite believe it! I still remember the last day of 2006 so clearly.

All my plans to celebrate the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008 are up in the air at the moment, but I don't care as I'm just so excited!!

As I mentioned before, I am so grateful for the past year, as it has been very good! If I could have another year like that, it would just be wonderful!!

I'm really excited about the opportunities a new year may bring. I know I can feel like this any day, but there's something about the official end and start of the year that makes me feel like this.

I hope I will have the strength, energy and courage to take every opportunity, and to make sure everything is going to be ok for another year!

Maybe this year I will advance my career some more?
Maybe this year I will meet someone who I want to be with and who wants to be with me?
Maybe this year some of my friends will get engaged, married or have babies - I know some of them want to...
Maybe this year, I'll finally buy a car? Stranger things have happened...
Maybe this year, I'll travel some more to places I've always wanted to visit?
Maybe this year, I will manage to talk to an old friend who is so far away?

The possibilities of the future are endless! I look forward to the new year, and I hope everything will be ok, the challenges will be manageable and life will be good in general.

For Christmas, I made another little trip home, to Holland to be with my family. It was a good trip. I had a nice time with my family and it was really nice to see my niece again.

Just before Christmas, I spent some time with my mum, and we went shopping. I found a little present for Senna, who now really does have absolutely everything!! What a spoiled little girl! Fortunately she's too little to realise.

I spent quite a lot of time with Senna as well. I'm slowly getting used to holding her, and I'm getting less scared of handling her. She just sleeps at the moment, or she cries when she's awake.

It was nice to see my brother and his girlfriend too. It's strange to see him becoming a real dad. She loves being a mum, and she's very laid back about Senna which I think is good. Anyone can hold her and she doesn't think her little girl is  fragile.

On Christmas day I was just with my mum and dad, and I cooked the dinner. It was ok, but somehow since the first time I cooked a roast, I've never been able to get the potatoes and veg properly crispy. Besides eating, we watched lots of christmas films on tv.

On boxing day, everyone came to my parents' house. That was really good, I like my brother's girlfriend's family. They were there all afternoon and evening, and my parents got quite drunk... funny.

The day after christmas, I went shopping with my mum again, and I spent some more time with Senna.

I got back yesterday to a manic little life here, but I had a lovely time and I look forward to the new year! I hope it will be a good one, and I'm gonna gather some energy and strength to make it a successful one!

It's been a while... or not, but hey, it's christmas!

My brother came around this morning, with his little family, and I finally got to give the presents. That was nice! I think everybody even liked their presents. It's so difficult to buy for almost all of them, as they never seem to like much. But it seems I've done ok. Good.

We've been watching 'Gone with the Wind' for the rest of the day. So now it's really late.

I'm about to start on dinner. Hope I don't ruin it... Oh well, it's not like any of us are actually hungry...

Hope everyone is having a lovely time!

I don't want to wait until tomorrow to give the presents!

I still don't feel very well either... It seems my cold got worse last night...

I think my cunning revenge plan of sneezing lots on a plane backfired on me. I didn't sneeze but someone else did, so I think they got me again!

I would like to say...

A very Happy Christmas to all of you!!!!!!!!

XXX

Oh dear... I feel rough!!! I'm still ill, and last night I decided it would be a good idea to go to the pub...

It was fun, and even though I didn't drink much, I still don't feel well today. Woke up way too early as well!

Just had a cup of tea, but that didn't help much either... think I will have a hot shower, and then I'll have a weetabix breakfast with hot milk... yummy!

The sun is shining!!!!!

The last weekend before Christmas! I'm all ready for it! I think, I hope... Hope I haven't forgotten anything...

This morning, I got the meat and some vegetables for Christmas dinner, which I'm cooking again. And I had another look for a present for Senna but I couldn't find anything good, so I will have a look on monday.

Got all the presents ready and wrapped. Everything is ready to go!

Bring it on!...

Last night was the birthday meal at the Chinese place that I hadn't been looking forward to.

As it turned out, it really wasn't so bad. Earlier in the day, the guest-list had dwindled quite a bit, and so in the evening, only one of the sh*t-stirring drama-queens was there.

We had a few drinks in a bar and then we moved onto the restaurant where we decided to have dishes from the Christmas menu. This was a sort of buffet style 4-course menu, which was brought to our table so we could pick from whatever we wanted.

I didn't eat much, but it wasn't too bad. I like the chinese starters like spring-rolls and prawn-toast.

The drama-queen was outnumbered, and largely ignored when trying to start some nonsense. I was most unimpressed when she had to bring up a difficult family time I had in 2006. When lots of people are having a nice evening out, you just don't start on stuff like that, it's not dinner conversation!
Anyway, so she got the year wrong anyway and I ignored her. Took quite a bit for me not to scratch her eyes out to be fair, but I just looked at her as if she was simple and she shut up soon after that.
Some people eh?

I still don't feel very well, so I took it easy with food and drink which was a good thing, as I still feel exhausted today.

My friend, who's birthday it was, had a great time, and that made it all worth it! He was very happy, and so was his lovely fiancee. They also announced their wedding date last night, which was nice!

I also met two other people who the birthday guy is friends with. I'd met them briefly some years back, but it was nice last night to chat to them properly!

So except for this one idiot (I'm still fuming, what was she thinking?!), it was a really good evening. Much better than expected, and I'm glad I made the effort as my friend really appreciated it.

A Christmas Carol...

What would the ghost of Christmas Past show you?

What would the ghost of Christmas Present show you?

What would the ghost of Christmas Future show you?

What?

Well, I'm still at home today, didn't make it into the office... Oh well...

There are lots of property programmes on tv...

Not the most interesting or entertaining morning so far...

I've been creating silly groups on Facebook to entertain myself.

At least I'm starting to feel a bit better. I'm still sniffly, and sneezing lots, and tired, but I think I'll be ok before christmas! Phew!

After my yearly review (see previous post), I thought it would be a good thing to write about things I can learn and try to do better next year...

After the yearly review, I think it’s only right to write about anything I may have learned this year…

I think I’ve learned a lot. Although I may not be very good in putting it into words…

I’ve always known I’m not even close to perfect. I’m impatient, harsh and hard, and that’s just to start with. On top of that, I can be a perfectionist, which isn’t always a good thing, or a bad thing, can be either.

I’m stubborn, and picky, difficult and difficult to please.

I like it when my friends tell me what I say is harsh, and I listen and try to be better. I always ask why they think that as well.

I’ve also learned, or perhaps I already knew this, that contrary to public opinion, my opinion may be the right one for me.

One of the things that amazes me, is how some people… not just take shit, but deal with it in a proper way… they don’t act as a doormat, but they deal with it appropriately, and then move on. Perhaps that’s what forgiveness is, or not being stubborn…

I can learn a thing or two there… Something to work on. As well as patience, and not getting annoyed as easily, and not judging people close to me as much. I’m ok in general with people removed, but the ones that are close, or trying to be(come) close, I think I maybe judge harshly….

Lots and lots and lots of things to learn… I hope all the lovely people I have in my life don’t give up on me, and instead continue to show me how things can be done, seen, said differently.

Having said all that, I’m not all bad. I always mean the best for my friends, I always try to do right, and I look out for people, and I do lots of other good things for the people I care about and the community I live in. But there’s always something to learn, something to do better.

So here’s to the new year, to all my friends and family; the people I love. May they all be around for another 365 days, showing me the way and helping me, and for me to be there for them. And may all of us be healthy and happy…

I guess that may be a bit much to ask, but it’s worth a try as all the people are worth it.

As this year draws to a close, I thought I might write a brief overview of the events of the past 12 months...

January
I started my new healthy lifestyle. Didn't do much else this month as all my efforts were focused on changing habits.

February
I started Salsa and gave up crisps for lent. That was tough! This was also the month when I realised this guy I'd dated in '06 who I was still seeing a lot of, was not quite who I thought he was so I stopped seeing him altogether. That was a bit tough too.

March
In March, my boss told me I was getting a promotion! Yay! I also started a period of social butterflyness, with a very busy calendar and lots of dates!

April
We had our first BBQ of the year, on the common with a crowd of us. Good fun, as long as we all had warm jumpers with us! Also, Cafe Verde opened, starting a brief time as my favourite bar.
This is also when I met NM, which towards the end of the month led to the end of my social butterflyness and dates...

May
NM and I started seeing each other, but within 48 hours it was clear it would not work out. Also, I finally went to the dentist for the first time in years as my mum hadn't been here to make me go. It worked out ok! May was also the start of my gig-going in earnest, starting with Kosheen.

June
June started with an all over health check where I didn't do too badly. I also went to the Field Gun Final which was great fun! And it was the month of the best bandstand of the year!! Bog Rolling Stones and the Silver Beatles! Great fun! I ran the Race for Life again and beat last year's time! June also saw the real end of NM and me after only a few weeks - I wouldn't even mention him if it wasn't for what came after...

July
I started dating freely again, and had a chat with NM which all ended in tears... Oh dear. I knew he got quite involved quite quick, but I was nowhere near anything like that so we were miles apart after only a few weeks. This is when the phone calls and messages started...
I ran in the Relay for Life and it was possibly the best one I'd done so far! Finally, my brother and his girlfriend came to stay for a long weekend and we had a great time!

August
I finally got my ears checked out properly and fixed slightly. I could hear a little better then! Also, I went on a beach holiday for the first time ever and had a great time! NM's calls and messages continued...

September
My friends got married, and I went to some gigs! I also went to see the family for my birthday. And I started this Blog... The calls and messages continued... Not funny anymore.

October
Some more gigs. Some trouble at work. My birthday. A date. And towards the end of the month, finally an end to the calls and messages after he turned up at the little home for the last time. NM needs some serious help! This is also when the year started sprinting towards the end!

November
A gig. Another little trip, this time to Ireland. I had a great time, and really enjoyed seeing lots of places, even if a lot was closed for it being out of season... The day after I got back, my lovely little niece Senna was born! And a few days later I was back at the airport to go and meet her! I also did a graduate fair for work, which was great fun.

December
And here we are, December... The Christmas party I'd been working since August/September got cancelled... But we had a great night out regardless! Saw the dentist again and everything was ok! Some more gigs. The start of some as yet undefined change... I think
Then next week Christmas, followed swiftly by the New Year.

Overall, it may not seem like a year that would stand out! But I think it will for me, as this was the year when nothing really bad happened in my personal life(so far). No one died, or got seriously ill, and we actually had an addition to the family this year. *keeps fingers crossed thinking I shouldn't be saying any of this for testing faith*
I think I will be thankful for this year, and I hope I may have more of these.

Tomorrow, if I'm well enough, I've got dinner plans to celebrate a friend's birthday. The choice was between indian and thai, I like both so I wasn't too worried.

It now turns out, the restaurant of choice is Chinese. I don't really like chinese, and I don't really like the restaurant. On top of all this, I don't really like most of the people who will be joining the celebrations...

I know that sounds mean, but they're mostly people I know through work and there are some fundamental differences between us which make it difficult for me. I get on OK with most of them, but only ever very superficially, as we have very different values.

As I always do when I know I will meet these people, I tell myself to be non-committal, not to take any bait. They're always trying to get information for their gossip sessions. And I always try not to give them any, but either way they will say what they like...

Usually, they start out being very nice and friendly, with plenty of compliments to gain people's trust. Then they get all the information they want, and make it into something that is a far better story to entertain themselves and others. I often think they should live on Broadway! They like drama so much.

Some examples: recently, one of the guys had a bit of a bad cold... he ended up going to hospital, having lots of tests done, and lots of speculation of what it could possibly be... nothing, just a cold! An extreme case I think, even for manflu!
One of the girls was going to try to give up smoking and drink less. After a few weeks, she decided it wasn't worth it, as without sigarettes and drink she didn't want to be with her husband anymore, and she had nothing to look forward to in life... Oh dear...

I don't like any of this very much. I think there are plenty of things that can happen in life that are dramatic or traumatic without making things up. When they do it about themselves, I think it's sad. When they do it about others, I think it's dishonest and a bit manipulative...

Gonna be a good night then...

*hatchoo* maybe I won't be able to go

Rest and Chocolate should make me feel better!
My dad last night dispelled my belief that mandarins are full of vitamin C, so this is my new plan! He used to be a green grocer, so I guess I'll believe him.

So far though, my new plan seems to be working. I had a good sleep, and this morning I phoned work to say I will not be coming in today. I have been doing some work from home as it's better to finish things before christmas.

Other than that, I'm lounging in my new comfy PJs, with rubbish daytime tv on, my pc, and the laundry... I think I'm starting to feel better, especially if I don't do too much as I get tired quick today. Hopefully ok to go into work tomorrow... Never thought I'd say that but I mean it.

The question of going for a drink came up again today... With Christmas only a few days away, I can dodge this one for a little while longer, but I will have to come up with something soon, either way.

Oh, and it's a beautiful day!!

Someone asked me out the other day... This was obviously before I became a snotty mess.

When I was out with some friends, having a few drinks, I met this guy and we got chatting quite a lot. He seems quite nice, but something was telling me to hold back, I didn't want to encourage him if there was anything to be encouraged. As it turns out, there was...

A little while after, he asked me out for a drink. I think I said yes in the most non-committal way...

I don't mind going out for a drink with this guy. Perhaps I should even give him a serious chance. Certainly, I would like to get to know him better in a friendly manner, as you can never have too many friends.

Mostly, I'm very happy as I am, so for me to change my current situation, he'd have to be quite something. I'm not sure he is the sort of guy... but in fairness, I'd say that about most men I think, whilst I should really give some of them at least a chance.

Oh well, see how things work out. I can meet him for lunch or an afternoon beverage without encouraging him, perhaps.

Haaaatchooooooo!!!!!! *sniffle*

Things have not improved... I had to go in to work today because wednesday is the busiest day of the week and I was on my own.

Then, this afternoon, my friend who had said she'd give me a ride home around half 3 because I was ill, decided to leave at half 2 instead, when I was still in a meeting. So I am now completely frozen, having stood waiting for trains and then having to walk another 25 minutes.

That's going to make me feel better! Remind me to thank her!

I feel rotten, and I feel properly sorry for myself! I might go and have a hot bath and then straight to bed...

Only a few days for christmas, and even less days at work! I'm really getting in the mood for christmas now!

I've got all the presents, and they're all wrapped! My mum has somehow managed to get me to agree to cooking dinner again on christmas day. So I will still have to go to the shop for some parsnips, yorkshire puds etc.

I've put loads of christmas tunes on my MP3 player, and I've been listening to them all day!

Got a big box of Christmas Crackers too, for when we have dinner with my family and my brother's girlfriend's family.

And right now, I'm watching a Panto on TV! I like it!!

With the ridiculously early start out of the way this morning, the day was really going quite well.

I did my propaganda video film thing this morning. What a load of cr*p! Still, I think I managed to spout some suitable rubbish...

After the filming I walked back to the office to finish off the afternoon's jobs. As I sat back at my desk, my throat started to feel a bit funny... So I got some hot tea to make sure I wasn't getting de-hydrated.

Shortly after that, my head started to hurt a little. I figured it was just because I was a bit tired after getting up so early...

A little while later, my eyes started stinging. I decided it must be because I had been staring at my screen too much...

Then my nose started to feel blocked... Uh oh!!

I couldn't believe it! Within a few hours, I was feeling really quite rough! This is not good timing at all! I'm supposed to spend some time with my little baby niece soon, and it will be christmas. I can't be getting ill!!!

On the way home, I treated myself to a new pair of PJs so I can lounge around the little home comfortably, to make myself feel better. I cooked a healthy meal, and I'm drinking lots of hot water with lemon juice and honey. I'm going to have some pills as well (only legal ones obviously), and a very early night!

I refuse to feel ill, especially on days which I can't take off work! So there! *sniffles*

YAY!!!!! Got some more gig tickets today! I'm very pleased!!

Kate Nash in March! That's now three gigs in one week again... Can't these artists spread out their visits a bit better!
That week I'm seeing The Hoosiers and The Feeling as well! It will be a good week!

And in May, I'm going to see the Pigeon Detectives! Woohoo!!!!!!!

Nothing much between now and then tho... See, if only they timed their performances a bit better, I could see one gig a month... I think from now on, these bands should just phone me first and check when it will be convenient for me to attend their concerts...

A pretty good day today! I worked from home this morning as I had to wait for the engineer to come and fix my phone-line, so I was able to have a little lie-in! Made me feel all nice and relaxed!

Mid-morning, the engineer came and fixed the phone-line, which was very good! It's really nice to see helpful and effective customer-service!

I then went to work, and as it was mid-morning, I had to get the train. This meant a 20 minute walk to the station, and on the other side, a 35 minute walk to the office (it's properly in the sticks! Don't even get a mobile signal!). The walk was very pleasant, with bright blue skies and sunshine! Good exercise too!

A quiet evening ahead of me. I might ring my brother to see how my niece is doing. And then an early night, as we're having a silly early start tomorrow, 7 am in the office! Yuk!

At work tomorrow, I have to do an interview for an internal company film. They sent me some questions, and I'll have to discuss them in front of the camera... They're rubbish questions, so I had to meet with some colleagues today to make up some half-decent answers. I'm not much into corporate propaganda so it's quite strange I'm doing this, but hey, it might win me some brownie points... The reality of corporate life...

The trip to Brighton was a big success!!

We did some shopping, and I've got all my christmas presents now, except for the baby but she's too small to unwrap anything anyway. I'll buy her something when I see her next.

I even got my brother's birthday present already for next year. How organised! But I found it and it was perfect.

And I've got a cool designer cow! (click on image for larger view)

We also had a good night out! We went to a bar on the seafront called 'Fortune of War', which was good fun, and afterwards to a club called 'Audio' which I didn't like so much but then I don't really like clubbbing... Met loads of nice people, that was great!

Suffering a bit today! Oh well!

I tried to use my new phone earlier, as it's properly charged now. And it still doesn't work! So it's a problem with the line, rather than the phone, and I probably took a perfectly good phone back to the shop...
Oops!

An engineer is coming tomorrow to fix it...

Well, my trip into town was succesful! But only just...

When I got to the shop to return the phone, I realised I'd forgotten to bring my bankstatement which showed the purchase (I didn't have the receipt anymore). I thought I'd try my luck anyway, but the shop wouldn't take the phone back without some proof of purchase.

I had the correct statement printed at home, so that was really annoying. But I popped into the bank in town, and the people there were very friendly and helpful and I came out with the correct statement in seconds!

10 Minutes later I had a snazzy new phone! Great!

By then it had gotten a bit late, so woolworths in town was hellishly busy... Decided to wander back and go to the little woolies instead. So now I'm back at home, with a phone plugged in and charging, and a happy christmas CD on. Happy Days!!

Also, I found myself (yet another) christmas present! This one will actually go under the tree for the big day tho! It's a big bottle for walking, and it came filled with a rain-poncho, a pedometer, little cutlery, handwarmers, a compass and socks! I like it!

Going to get ready for the Brighton trip now! Have a little bit of lunch, pack my bag and get ready to go!

Up bright and early this morning, having survived the night after last nights scary film, I'm ready for chores and christmas shopping today.

First I'm going into town, as early as possible as it's not a pleasant place on a saturday, especially so close to christmas. My home phone has stopped working, and I've only had it since July, so I'm not very happy. I'm going to return it, but I don't have the box anymore, or the receipt... I do have all the papers that came with it, and a bank statement showing when I paid for it. Hopefully it works...

Then I want to get a christmas cd for at home and for my mp3 player! Yay!!

Later today, I'm off to Brighton with some friends for some more christmas shopping. I want to get an Art Cow for my brother, as he collects them.
(http://www.voordeelonlineshop.nl/producten/1329/kunst-koeien/)

And I have to find something for his girlfriend, and finally the baby but that will be easy anyway.

Later on, a birthday party with lots of new people! Yay! So it should be a good day! Now, I've gotta run if I want to beat the rush in town!

Have a good day!!

Just been watching a scary film... I'm rubbish with scary films... I should know better than to watch them, especially on my own...

Now I'll be scared tonight, and I'll have to have lights on like a little kid. Got shivers running down my spine... Yuk!

Must do better at my healthy living lifestyle!

I'm going to miss my target this week, I think... Not so good! Last nights dinner obviously didn't do me any favours! It was lovely tho, so it was worth it!

Today, however, I did a good session at the gym, and I just had a lovely meal with spinach, mushrooms, pinenuts and salmon. Lovely!!

It's likely to be a big weekend yet again, so I will have to be extra careful. I know it's a difficult time to try to be good, so I've decided that I will be as good as I can on quiet days. And on day, if I know I have a meal out in the evening, I'll be more careful during the day.

This should at least help me not gain any weight over the festive period, and loose some as well.

I've also realised I have to reduce my portion sizes. I can really eat a lot, so I'll have to have smaller portions.

Onwards and upwards!

This evening was supposed to be the evening of the postponed christmas party at the Fort... That was cancelled as well...

4 months of effort gone... Nevermind!

We had a brilliant time on Saturday with a big crowd. And tonight, a small group of us went out for a nice meal and some drink afterwards.

I had a brilliant time! It's great to spend some quality time with friends!

The food was lovely! We had some wine with our meals. Then we tried to go to this bar we always go to but it was shut... (don't think it's doing very well... might have to look for a new local soon...)

We ended up in Chicago Rock of all places... As we were there early, it was quiet and cold. But it soon livened up and we had a good time. One of my very best friends, who I don't always see eye to eye with but is soooo very important in my life, was really sweet. And it was one of those lovey moments. We're great friends, and I cause trouble sometimes by being a bit too straight forward and saying what I really think... In this country, I think maybe people are more reserved and more considerate of other people's feelings...

But we're always great friends through it all, and it was brilliant to spend some quality time!

Must go to bed now, sleep off a glass or two...
Happy Christmas! Liefs xxx

I came across the following line in a book:

'...if you can, at nineteen, count the people you love on one hand, you will not, at forty, have run out of fingers on the other.'
(from The Gathering by Anne Enright)

In context, this talks about people who you fall in love with romantically, so it doesn't include your family etc.

P.S. Germany is looking to pass a law that outlaws people under 18 to publicly show their love for another - to try to combat illegal sexual activity and sexual predators. I think it would cause more trouble than it would save and I hope this law does not get passed.

A while back, I wrote that I thought change was in the air. It seems I was right. Slowly but surely, little things around me are changing. And I believe that little things make up the big things, so I'm excited about times ahead.

At work, the customer is re-organising, which affects my company and my team as well. On top of that, the programme I'm working on has suddenly moved from being the Top Priority, Top cost saving, most important programme in the business to something not very important at all. Some industry rules and standards changed in the last week or so, and now the cost saving this programme would bring on completion has been reduced greatly.

I'm changing my habits already, but now I'm also changing some medical routines (nothing serious) I've been following for more than a decade, in one form or another. This is likely to affect me in quite a big way as well. Any side-effects will disappear, and things will altogether be a bit more natural. Bizarly enough, it may even affect my personality as I've been following the routine from my early teens and I can't predict how I and my body will react. Wait and see I guess.

More things are on the cards, I think, but don't want to get ahead of myself as I don't actually have a crystal ball.

It's December, and only 12 days until Christmas. For many of us, this is a time of happiness, togetherness and peace.

But looking at the news this week, it's hard to find a news item to reflect even a tiny bit of Christmas spirit...

There are reports of bombings in Iraq, Lebanon and Algeria. In recent days, I've read two reports of people setting themselves on fire and dying. A mother killed her son, and then herself because she was terminally ill. School shootings, climate change, worsening political relations between governments, stabbings, shootings, drownings - death, destruction and pain everywhere.

Seeing all this, I suddenly realised I don't believe this is going to stop for Christmas. Whilst many of us are enjoying Christmas with loved ones, there will be many unhappy things happening in the world.

I know this isn't a new thing, but I worry it's getting worse and more frequent.

I will be sparing a thought this christmas for all those affected by bad situations beyong their control. And in whatever small and insignificant ways I can, I will try to my bit to make this world a better place. A nice word, a smile for people you see, even if you don't know them, just to start with...

Just lost a whole post, and I was nearly done writing it! *grumble*

It basically said how crap I'd been with my healthy lifestyle over the weekend, but in better words.

Here's how it went wrong, again summarised: wine, sausage & mash, wine, burger, wine, KFC meal, double lunch including a chicken and mushroom pie, crisps, wine...

Went to the gym again tonight though and it went well! Weighed myself as well, and it's still going in the right direction, although not a huge amount of progress since friday after the weekend. Makes sense I think...

Did pretty good today, only slipped just now with a toasted cheesy pitta (wholemeal...). Will work hard this week and hope for more progress by Friday.

Scouting for Girls at the Wedgewood rooms last night!

Brilliant gig! They were very entertaining live!

I was so very tired!! I nearly left early as I just didn't see why I would be there if I was feeling like I should be at home in bed. Everyone else was tired too, we'd had a big weekend and we could've all used Monday to recover.

But I'm so glad I stayed as it was really worth it!

Wow, it really is all going on! Busy day today!

Early this morning the people from the Fort rang again, and long story short, the Christmas party is cancelled alltogether...

Whilst I'm really disappointed, it's probably for the best as my party had dwindled significantly. Now everybody will get a refund as soon as they put the money in my account...

So this evening, I dashed out quickly to meet with some friends to come up with an idea for Thursday night, as there are still some who would really like to go out for a meal before christmas. So I'm quickly gathering numbers again, and tomorrow I will ring around for somewhere to go. It will be a nice evening and I'm really looking forward to it already!

Work is getting busy as well. My future there is looking bright although I'm still not sure it's what I want.

And I did chores today!!!!!

It's gig time again!!!! Another monday night gig, and I'm really tired but I'll have a quick bite to eat and then I'll get ready to go again! Determined to have a good time!

I really quite like this band, even if their songs sound a bit samey at times... I have their tunes in my head all day and I hope they'll be good live!

There's four of us going, and we're meeting up for a drink before heading to the intimate venue to watch the gig! Brilliant!

I'm sure I'll sleep well after that.

Full report to follow...

After the big re-plan yesterday, I had my appointment at the hair-dressers for my hair massacre....

I lost 4(!) inches!!!! Shocking! But the result is good, I'm pleased with it. And lots of people noticed it last night and said it looked nice.

So I survived... just...

We came up with a plan to replace the plan and I think everything worked out really well.
I'm still gutted that our trip to the Fort got cancelled, or moved to thursday, but that just won't be the same.

Last night everyone gathered in what used to be the Dolphin. Lots of people came out, even more than would have come to the Fort. At one point there were about 40 people! I thought it was great! We had a whole section in the pub to ourselves and I think everyone had a good time.

The night ended in Scandals, and I think that's what's to blame for my slightly fuzzy head this morning.

My guests have just left, and I have to start tidying up my little home. As the weather isn't as bad as I thought I might have to go out and do some exercise. Light exercise mind, as I don't think I can cope with much more. A walk along the seafront maybe.

My healthy lifestyle has taken a bit of a tumble this weekend, as I knew it would so I'll have to work a bit harder this week...

I've done some chores around the house, and I've stopped shopping for a dress as I won't need one now, not tonight anyway.

I've gone into major re-plan mode! I have to arrange everyone for thursday night, and find suitable entertainment for tonight.
Any ideas are most! welcome!

Going to a friends house in a mo, for a brief brainstorming session before the hair-massacre. Then I have to phone everyone, and tell them what's going on.

Where do we go?
Do we still go for a meal?
Do we still dress formal?
Are we just going to the same pub as ever?
Can any of us come up with something different that we like to do?

(problem is we always do what we like to do, and we don't do other things because we don't like to do them as much, so it's going to be the same night out as always?!???)

I want to have a good plan!

the gig tickets have just arrived...

Well, it's cancelled now

Right!
I'm up!
I'm going to get everything sorted like a little whirlwind, and then chill out and get ready for tonight.
The website keeps changing it's mind about the weather, but it's looking a bit better again now...

I have to go out and look for a new dress... Which is nice because I get to go shopping, but not so nice because it's only because the dress I was planning to wear is a bit snug... Started that diet a bit too late.

My Scouting for Girls tickets still haven't arrived, so if they're not here in the next hour or so, I will have to go to the box office and try to sort that out.

I have to do some hoovering and stuff around the flat, and get the spare room ready for my guests later today.

I have to go to the hairdresser's just after lunch. It's going to be a hair-massacre, I'm not very happy but I left it a little late to sort out properly so I might have to have 4(!!!!) inches off. That will feel a little bit like missing a bodypart later. Any one with long hair will know what I mean, when you wash it or when you make a ponytail, you automatically try to get more hair than is actually there... But hopefully it will look nice, and it will grow back again.

And I will phone the people from the fort again, just to be sure...

I was going to stay in tonight, watch some rubbish tv (not the tudors cos I missed most of that anyway), and get an early night. But just after nine pm I was getting restless so I phoned a friend and ended up round another friend's house with the girls and some glasses of wine...

Pretty good really. Except I don't make a very good girl in those situations (believe it or not). The taxi driver on the way was asking me what we would talk about and I wasn't too sure really. I thought maybe christmas shopping is a popular topic this time of year...

Topics of conversation were wide-ranging. I couldn't contribute to anything about make-up, and that one seemed to go on forever. Then we talked about contraception, which is girly too and I could contribute here but can't say it makes for very pleasant conversation. Towards the end of the evening conversation turned to my friends moving away. And I guess this was the first time she admitted out loud that this was going to happen in the not too distant future...

She was a bit worried I guess. I think she's happy to move, but a little scared of the prospect of such a new lifestyle away from what she knows. I think everyone understands that. We were supportive, trying to make her not worry if that makes sense.

From moving we got to buying or renting, and inevitably interest rates.... One of the girls there insisted rates were coming down now. I can't talk economics because apparently economists gain weight quickly ( ) but I didn't agree. Base rate, yes, bank rates, not for quite some time yet I predict. Can't say more as I'm on a diet

Perhaps I should've stayed in, but I really wanted to see my friends. I got some really brilliant friends, and I feel really lucky! But I didn't come home happy. I need to get some sleep as I've got a lot on tomorrow and I still feel a bit stressed.

Just found out that one of the guests to the party tomorrow has organised a drink beforehand for everyone else and not let me know, even to invite me. That annoyed me... Is that unreasonable?

Only one more sleep, and it should be the day of the christmas party for my friends!

I spoke to the people who run the Fort on Thursday, and they were still optimistic it was all going ahead, but I'm not sure it's still looking so good. It looks like a strong southerly wind, which apparently is what we don't want... But what do I know? I will give them a ring again tomorrow. (I don't think they like me, I think they think I phone them too often... don't care, paying customer and all that!)

Earlier this week, one couple had to cancel because they'd gotten their dates mixed up, and today another friend cancelled because of work. That didn't make me very happy but what can you do?

Still keeping all fingers and toes crossed! I'd be so gutted if we can't go out tomorrow night, after nearly 4 months of organising, I might cry.
You don't want me to cry, it's that time of the year I might not stop...

We've got a back-up date, next thursday. That wouldn't be great on a schoolnight! Also, several of my friends are coming from afar, so they wouldn't be able to come on a thursday. Officially, the rules say you don't get your money back, but I discussed it with them, and we agreed we would get money back for those people. I made them e-mail me that agreement so I have it in writing. But I don't really want to have to even deal with any of that, I just want to go out tomorrow night!

On top of all that, my gig tickets haven't arrived, so chances are I have to go to the box office tomorrow morning to try and sort that out as well! I can really do without all that hassle! I don't know how that would work. I've got my receipts and emails etc, but surely anyone can go in and claim they haven't received their tickets? The gig is on monday, so there's hardly time to wait for Royal Mail (%*#$&%*~@) to conduct an investigation into lost mail....

All of this stuff is stressing me out! I would say I'm never organising anything ever again, but I already know what I want to do for next year's christmas party and I can't wait, so that just wouldn't be true...

Tsk Tsk...
Another knee-jerk reaction... Just like when the rate was going up.
The economy doesn't move that fast, it's worth it to wait and see how it moves for a little while longer before lowering rates again.

Now for the results of my song-singing efforts! I ate all the sweets already, greedy-guts!

St Nicolas must have raided the rough guide shop, perhaps there was a sale on...
I got a small pair of binoculars in a handy little carry-pouch, and a mini camera tripod, and an outdoor-mug that can easily be attached to a bag. How handy!! I'm very pleased with my little loot! All of that will come in handy if I go on long walks in the countryside.

Stepped on the scales again today, as well as having paid a visit to the dentist. A very courageous day, all in all...

I survived the dentist, and I don't have to go back until my next check-up! Except for the hygienist, which I think I find even scarier than the dentist...

After work, another gym visit when I decided, very hopefully, to see if I'd made any progress yet! It was the same time of day as monday, and the same scales, so no cheating there. I'd lost 2 pounds in two days!
How good is that?!?!

I promise I've not been starving myself, it's all very responsible. Healthy breakfast in the morning, fruit for snacks, home-made lunch, and lots of vegetables for dinner with some chicken, just no carbs (other than the complex kind) in the evening.
On top of that, I've been continuing with my advent calender, and I've been eating my St Nick sweets.

So I'm happy! I'm going to continue, and I'm going to revise my weekly targets for the first 4 to 6 weeks. Exercising has been good fun as well, and I'm getting more excited about joining the Ramblers Association every day.

It's St Nicholas Eve! One of the most exciting evenings of the year when I was a kid! Absolutely loved it, and still do really!

This is the evening when I would get my presents (instead of christmas). We'd have to sing songs, and there would be a knock on the door, followed by sweets being thrown into the room (fun but a tad dangerous). Then a big bag of presents would materialise! That's how it works, so here goes... Start with some songs, see what happens...

Zie ginds komt de stoomboot uit Spanje weer aan
Hij brengt on St Nicolaas Ik zie hem al staan
Hoe huppelt zijn paardje het dek op en neer
Hoe waaien de wimpels al heen en al weer
Zijn knecht staat te lachen en roept ons reeds toe
Wie zoet is krijgt lekkers Wie stout is de roe
Oh lieve St Nicolaas kom ook eens bij mij
En rij toch niet stilletjes mijn huisje voorbij

Daar wordt op de deur geklopt
Hard geklopt, Zacht geklopt
Daar wordt op de deur geklopt
Wie zal dat zijn?
Ben jij wel zoet geweest
Wees dan maar niet bevreest
Want al ben ik zwart al roet
Ik meen het toch goed
Want ik kom van Sinterklaas, Sinterklaas, Sinterklaas
Ik heb voor jou, mijn kleine baas, moois in mijn zak...

*BANG-BANG-BANG* (the door)

Well, what do you know, it seems to have worked! Apparently, St Nick has been told off by Health & Safety, no sweet throwing this year, but I did get some presents! Woohoo!!!!!

Only a few days left until the christmas party at the Fort (weather permitting, fingers and toes crossed people!)

I'm very excited about it, and really looking forward to it! There will be 32 of us having a party! It will be great!

I think I've got everything organised. I've send all the information out to everyone, and hopefully everyone who's coming from afar has managed to arrange a place to stay over. Might ring around on that one actually, to make sure everything is ok.

I've got my outfit mostly ready, except for some accesories to keep warm as the fort may be rather cold in December. Also, I got a hair-appointment booked so it will feel all nice and special (I only see a hairdresser about 3 times a year, it's a special event).

The one thing I can't organise is the weather. As the Fort is in the Solent, and we have to go there by boat, the event may be cancelled if the sea is to rough to go across. That would just be awful, and it would really stress me out, but nothing I can do about it. And my friends are nice people, so they should be ok about it if it happens. We should have a good time whatever happens!

I just had a thought... Not a very nice one... Not a new one either, but with some new insight... Oh no!

In the last year or so, three of my close friends have moved away for various reasons, mostly work-related and in one case cricket(?) related.

In the next 2 to 3 years, several of my other friends are planning to move away as well. I knew one couple was planning to move to the same place as this other couple, somewhere in the commuter belt. But now a third couple is thinking about doing the same, all for work...

When the first couple went, and the second couple mentioned they might do the same, and a friend's sister was moving to that area as well, I joked I would just move there too.

Now the third couple is talking about, and it suddenly feels like it will all happen very soon. And I've realised I don't really want to move away from the coast. It wouldn't be very far, but I think it would be too far for me.

After all said and done, a total of 9 close friends, people who I used to socialise with several times a week, and share lots of stuff with, will have moved away.

What am I going to do! Of course there will still be plenty of people left, but I'm single and getting to the age when it starts getting more and more difficult to meet new people and make new good friends.

Had a moment of panic then, but have just realised that if I go back to Salsa, and if I join the Ramblers Association, or any other groups and clubs like bookclubs or maybe even a theatre company, I will meet people with similar interests so I should hopefully be ok.

Still, I don't like the thought of not being close to my friends anymore, I will miss them very much. If we don't see eachother for more than a week it always feels like ages. This is the sort of change I don't like... But I guess I shouldn't worry about it until it happens, and I don't believe you can ever have too many friends so I can start making new ones any time.

A leading economist was today quoted as saying that the Bank of England should lower the base rate by 0.5% to maintain a strong economy, keep public spending up and reduce the current slowdown.

I agree the economy is slowing down, but I don't believe in the doom and gloom scenario some people are panicking about.

People are feeling the squeeze in their pockets due to higher interest rates. The Bank of England had started raising the base rate about 18 months ago, due to inflation creeping up and public borrowing being very high.

Since then, things have started to go wrong State-side, in the sub-prime mortgage market. People on low incomes have been given mortgages they can't really afford, and now people are starting to default. Banks have been trading in these loans, and it is now not entirely clear which banks have deficits. This has lead to banks being reluctant to lend to each other because they don't know if they will get their money back. So they're keeping their rates higher than usual, above the base rate.

In the UK, a mortgage market similar to the sub-prime one in the USA was rapidly developing (I was offered a mortgage 6! times my annual salary - madness), which may very well have had a similar outcome to what happened in the US.

The levels of personal debt are still very high, and whilst some people are finding harder to repay loans etc, this is the risk you take if you take out a variable loan of any kind. If levels of personal borrowing weren't so high, people wouldn't be feeling the effects as much, except perhaps on certain types of mortgages. Variable mortgages can usually easily be transferred to fixed deals without for anyone feeling the effects of interest rate rises.

Public spending in the UK economy is based on a big air bubble of public borrowing. This cannot continue indefinitely, the bubble will burst eventually. In my opinion, it would be better to try to reduce the size of the bubble by keeping the base rate where it is now at least. A smaller bubble would have a smaller impact on the economy, if it burst.

People may struggle now, but for many it's not a case of getting into real trouble, it's more an inconvenience. If people are struggling, they should seek some financial advice to minimise the effect of the interest rate rises by consolodating loans for example.

People should keep in mind how much worse things could be. We're still not in a state of economic decline. The scaremongering media might have you believe that we are, but they only talk about economic predictions, not really about anything that has actually happened yet. The markets are fluctuating (naturally, as I write this, the FSA issues a warning and markets tumble...), but so far after a difficult day or so they tend to recover.

Economic growth is slowing down, but I think that's not a bad thing as slower growth is easier to sustain which will benefit everyone in the long run. The Bank of England should take some time to see how the UK economy will behave in the coming months. I think they raised the rates a bit too quick without seeing how the markets would react. They should look at economic impacts objectively when making decisions about the base rates, and they should not appear to base any decisions on reports in the media.

Full marks for anyone reading through this boring post. To rest of you:
WAKE UP!!

Today was the day, I did it, I stepped on the dreaded scales... It was not a pretty sight! At first, all it said was 'ERROR' and I was really worried about how bad it was if the scales couldn't even cope. Turned out; I'm not only out of shape, I'm also not very clever... After working out how the stupid scales worked, it still wasn't a pretty sight.

So after yesterday's laziness, today I spurred into action. Did a good work-out in the gym. Whilst power-walking, I thought up a more detailed plan to get back into shape. This plan has an end goal with clear intermediate milestones, so I can easily see how I'm doing and if I have to work harder. If I manage it, I will be at my target weight in about three months time... Seems like an awful long time...

I've just dug out all my reference books and recipe books relating to diets, fitness and activities. They will help keep me motivated, and ensure that I eat healthy low-fat meals which taste really nice.

I've also cleaned my kitchen again so there is plenty of space and clean pots to cook these healthy meals. And I've just got back from my weekly shop, where I got lots of fresh fruit and veg again (last weeks veg largely ended up in the bin, shame on me!). I also got some 'food accesories' like pine nuts and raisins to add a little bit extra. And I got some canned fish (was too late to get any nice fresh fish).

On top of all the good food resolutions and gym visits, I'm also thinking of going back to Salsa lessons, as that can be quite a good and fun work-out. And I'm thinking of joining the Ramblers Association in January. There is a local group in the city, and also a County group for people in their 20s and 30s. Sounds good to me!

Only three weeks until my christmas holiday! That makes this sunday evening feeling just a little bit more bearable. I pretty much wasted the entire day! I woke up early and listened to the wind and rain outside and decided to take it easy... I succeeded.

I watched rubbish tv, snoozed on the sofa, read posts on blogland, looked people up on Facebook, you get the picture. I didn't do any chores and I only popped out to the cornershop at the end of the street. My home is a complete mess and my healthy lifestyle is suffering too...

It was nice just relaxing and not worrying about anything or anyone today, or having to do things. The only time I wished I had done something was when the neighbours were cooking something that just smelled lovely.

I'm going to spend the evening trying not to think about mondays, or tuesdays, the gym, household chores or anything else that isn't on my list of favourite things to do. And I'm going to continue wasting time doing nothing at all.

An early start this morning, I woke up to a beautiful blue sky and lots of sunshine!

I went to the station to meet a friend, and we got the train to Bedhampton for our good deed of today. We were volunteering through a company programme to plant trees in some allotments.

I'd never really planted any trees before, nor had many of the others, so we started with a quick training session and a lesson on what to do. After all the rain, the ground was very soggy and muddy, which might have helped if it hadn't been for all the bricks and concrete hiding in it...

Still, between us we managed to plant a lot of trees and a hedge in about two hours. I really enjoyed the morning! We were so lucky with the weather! The people were nice and I learned something new that I would probably never have learned ever... And it makes up for some of the printing we do in the office...

Some of the digging and removing bricks was hard work too, and I walked for miles today, so it counts as a workout too. I've earned my Advent chocolate today... Yummy!