Here's another extract from my stars today:
You may hold back now from really examining what is going on inside you, since you are wary of finding out what lies below the surface.
I have been pondering an issue recently, or to be more precise, around an issue. I'm not really ready to deal with this properly, as it is of huge consequence to my life.
I don't know why and how this particular issue came to mind. It first popped up in September I think, and I can't think why...
Pretty much out of the blue, I suddenly thought about going back to Holland to live there. Maybe it was because I'd just been on holiday, and I could no longer see the point in working for a big corporation etc (life in Greece seemed very appealing). Maybe it's because I'm about to become an auntie, and I want the baby to know me. But Holland isn't very far away and I can go visit whenever I want.
I've been in England for six years in total now. I'm completely settled; I've got a career, a lovely (albeit messy) home, brilliant friends, and altogether a great life!
I'm quite integrated into the English culture, to the point where it's become more difficult to identify with Dutch people.
I think, if I was to live in Holland again, I would have to find a new job, a new home, new friends and an entirely new life. That's hard enough, I know, I've done it before. But it would be made even harder by the fact that I'm Dutch, but in many respects I'm not totally Dutch anymore. People in Holland would expect me to fit right in because I'm Dutch, but I would struggle because culturally, I've changed a lot.
It would make my parents very happy! But that on it's own isn't a good enough reason to go back, as it's up to me to live my life.
People often ask if I miss my country, or living near my family. The honest answer is always 'no'.
Maybe that's slowly changing, but that really surprises me. I love my life here! I can't figure out what's driving this...
I live in an absolutely beautiful part of the world, by the sea. I'm close enough to home to be comfortable, so I just can't see why I'm thinking about this now.
I sometimes think about leaving the UK, but always to go to Italy, never to Holland. Don't get me wrong! I Love my country very much, I'm proud of it and its people, and I like a lot of the values and mindset that comes with it. I don't like some of the politics going on, and it's got its problems, like everywhere else. That's why, between Holland and the UK, I can't say which I prefer because everywhere has good and bad sides. Holland will always be home, my country.
